An alleyway at night reminiscent of the dark ages. There is a movie poster for the Disability Film Challenge called "Dark Ages" by Anna Pakman. The poster has two people sitting on a bench, one in dark ages clothing and the other in modern clothing.

The Power of Connection: Lessons from “Back to the Dark Ages”

by Anna Pakmanon Posted on

The Power of Connection: Lessons from “Back to the Dark Ages”

In the world of dating, we often talk about the “spark”—that lightning-bolt moment of romantic attraction. But for those of us navigating the world with chronic illness or disability, there is a different, perhaps more vital kind of spark: the moment you realize someone finally understands the weight you’re carrying.

This profound realization is the heartbeat of the film Back to the Dark Ages. Through the story of Christina, a former Broadway dancer living with Long COVID, and Wilhelmina, a medieval ghost that Christina accidentally summons, we see a powerful truth: loneliness isn’t just about being alone; it’s about being unseen.

When the “Village” Moves On

In the script, Christina describes her reality with devastating clarity: “People like the ‘idea’ of helping, but they lose interest when you don’t get better on their schedule.” It’s a sentiment that resonates deeply among those who develop a disability in their adult lives. Whether it’s friends who stop calling or dates who disappear when they realize your “zero” feels like being “pushed to the bottom of the ocean with weights on your ankles,” the isolation can feel as heavy as any historical Dark Age.

Wilhelmina, coming from a literal Dark Age, offers a surprising mirror. She was cast out of her village for trying to protect them from “rot” in the air and water. Despite the centuries between them, both women share the same scar: being abandoned by a society that preferred a comfortable lie over a difficult truth.

The Power of the “Kindred Spirit”

The foundation of any great relationship—whether it’s a lifelong partnership or a deep friendship—is companionship. In the film, Christina initially tries to hide her loneliness, but it is only when she meets a “kindred spirit” who doesn’t judge her mask or her fatigue that she begins to feel less like a “catless cat lady” and more like herself again.

Why does this matter for your dating life?

  1. Shared Reality is a Short-Cut to Intimacy: When you don’t have to explain why you’re at “zero” energy, you can spend that energy on actually connecting.
  2. Authenticity Over Performance: In the film, Christina is exhausted. Wilhelmina sees her at her lowest and doesn’t run. That is the gold standard for any relationship.
  3. Redefining the “Village”: We may not have the village we were promised, but we can build a new one. As Christina tells Wilhelmina at the end of the film: “I could use a kindred spirit. Even if it is for another ‘Dark Age’.”

Light in the Shadows

Back to the Dark Ages reminds us that connection is the only real portal out of isolation. It’s not about finding someone who will “fix” you or your health; it’s about finding someone who will show up for you as you are. 

Want to see this beautiful bond for yourself? Watch “Back to the Dark Ages,” a film by Anna Pakman that proves friendship is a bond that transcends space and time.